It is rare that I have horrendous food in London. Rare but not unheard of. At Ciro’s Pizza Pomodoro in Knightsbridge, on the famous Beauchamp Place just opposite San Lorenzo where Diana allegedly used to lunch, I had the dubious pleasure to enjoy what may have been the most horrible pizza I’ve had, maybe forever? I think if you buy a frozen pizza from Tesco, what am I saying, a 2 pounds value pack for 3 frozen pizzas from Iceland, and eat it straight, without putting it in the oven first, the culinary experience may be a more pleasurable one.
Ciro’s Pizza Pomodoro has been around since 1978 (one wonders why) and the walls are plastered with photos of celebrity visitors. I see Patrick Swayze smiling down on me and there is big-breasted Pamela Anderson, hugging restaurant owner Ciro, a rather sleazy looking, long haired Italian. If we believe the website, Ciro’s has been also frequented by actors that I, up until now, held in high regard. I will never look at Johnny Depp, Al Pacino or Jack Nicholson in the same way ever again.
In fact, Ciro’s looks more like a cheap night club than a restaurant and apparently there is live music on a regular basis. According to the highly amusing website, “the waitresses will be seen dancing whilst carrying your food to your table.” I am highly disappointed that I have missed out on this, maybe the shock may have been enough to make me forget the pizza.
Yes the pizza… again according to the website, “our chefs are highly trained in Italy, so we can guarantee authenticity.” If these are authentic Italian pizze, I close my food blog down and never eat out again. The thick and doughy pizza base was limp and tasted yeasty, very much reminiscent of Pizza Hut pizza (which I have not visited since 1996 but I can still vividly remember, as it sometimes happens with traumatic experiences). The tomato sauce was overly sweet and all I could taste was oregano and I doubt if the cheese was really mozzarella. Please also admire the green salad, looks authentically Italian doesn’t it?
We ordered one Pizza Margherita (7.95) with extra rocket. The extra rocket was charged at 1.75. The Pizza with Parma Ham (16.95) was basically a Pizza Margherita with rocket and parma ham, and we calculated that the few slices of parma ham (too salty and cut too thick) cost us an amazing 7.25!! Well, that’s Knightsbridge for you. In addition, the pizze were tiny, at least one-third smaller than a conventional Italian pizza.
Last but not least, even though the service charge was already included in the bill, we were asked again if we wanted to include service charge by the card machine when paying by card. I don’t even want to imagine how many people are ripped off by this on a regular basis and pay service charge twice (particularly when distracted by a dancing waitress).
I hated everything about Ciro’s Pizza Pomodoro, most of all that they can get away with serving bad overpriced food to undiscriminating customers. I’m sure Ciro’s a millionaire by now.
- Food: 1/10
- Service: 3/10
- Ambiance: 3/10
- Value for Money: 1/10
- Chances of Returning: I rather never eat again
- Verdict: That’s a (sad) joke of a pizza place, just shows again that rich and beautiful Knightsbridge clientele has no bloody taste!